ontheblog&beyond

when it comes to dating, it has to be my least favourite pasttime. i don't like it purely because I'm not good at it. its either I get too attached, accept the bare minimum as appropriate behaviour or I just look too far into the future and forget about the present situation, but that's just a lot of fluff to hide the fact that the real reason why my romantic endeavours fail is because I never seem to be what the people I want are looking for. unfortunately, my approach to dating as of late has been nothing if not chaotic but it took me a while to get there. at first I was convinced that more people would like me it I was tolerable and nice and when that didn't work or I got walked all over, I traded tactics. we went full mafia mode straight away. the idea being if they would handle me at my most than they'd be less likely to gimme the "you're not what I expected" spiel. so instead I've gotten a lot of other rehearsed lines. I've been rejected ...

i've always had quite the fascination with tarot readers and psychics alike, someone who holds in their palm a collection of tokens that speak to a past, present and future that exists in "what ifs" and "maybes". such a practice that encourages overthinking of mundane situations and reevaluating of memories supposedly set in stone, it's a wonder why the most anxious person in my own periphery continues to hold onto these nonsense practices like a religion. alas, there's something I just can't let go of about all the possibilities that someone with a scale of answers can possess and share when the right question is asked. finding what lies beneath all the wishy-washy of crystals and mantras, there's a tad more science of the sun and the stars than meets the eye which has to be one of the many whimsical things that brings me back to this 'other' idea of religion. according to a bunch of math that has to do with my birthday and other numeric...